Hot Fuzz?

Did I blink? Was I in the loo when Summer appeared? It seems that one or two dry days now constitutes the traditional British Summer.  Spare a thought for all those ladies who diligently stocked up on razor blades, hair removal creams, sun-screen, and skimpy shorts, and suffered the joys of the aptly named ‘Insanity’ exercise regime, poised and ready to launch their bikini buff bodies onto the unsuspecting World. (I should add, that I was not one of them!)

To shave or not to shave – sun, rain, rain, rain, sun, rain, s … oh no more rain!  Gentleman don’t have to go through this major dilemma at the changing of the seasons, except maybe in debating whether to invest in a little beard gloss or glitter now and again as the mood takes them.

You see, there’s an art to getting the timing of your bikini trim just right, do it too soon and you’ll have to redo, do it too often and those blasted bumps will raise up and irritate the knicker line; leave too long and you’ll have to sharpen the garden shears or worse still get out the electric hedge cutters. You could get caught in-between and be scrabbling for your ‘hot-fuzz’ wax, or your second best razor (that’s if his is out sight of course), scraping and scratching in a hurry to scramble to the hot tub with your pink Martini at the first glimmer of the golden globe.

Well, I don’t fall for it anymore ladies, I don’t expect a Summer, and to be frank, with the damp walls in our cottage I need to keep as much bodily insulation as possible these days. So I say, don’t prep daily, you’re just setting yourself up for a fall. Let the fuzz run free, until you feel in your bones, then grab the hover mower and go for it in one fell swoop, seize the moment, and have your day in the sun (tram marks and all).

Hot fuzz and a plunger to sort out the bath, G&T or a bottle of bud, obligatory selfie in the hot tub, a sausage on the BBQ, and there is your summer on a plate ladies – enjoy it, you earned it.

Pedwar xx



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